2008: The Jerk Store called

December 31st, 2008 | 10:46 pm


If you want to go somewhere you've never been, it helps to have a map. A GPS would be even better, but I'm a
simpler gal.

I'm significantly proud of my accomplishments over the past year. I owe most of my trailblazingness and
travelocity to the map I made last New Year's Eve at my dear friend Cindy's house in Valley Village, a little burb
of Los Angeles. Technically, the sort of map I made is called a Vision Board.

Sure, it was slightly woo-woo and Oprah of us: standing around her dining room table, quietly cutting out
images from magazines and pasting them onto large posters, while listening to Celtic chants. But, because of
our Vision Boards, we ended up having amazingly fabulous years.

To wit, I:

  • Consistently thought of myself first in a healthy, non-selfish way
  • Mounted Mount Hollywood and Mount Lee and that big hill in Santa Clarita
  • Trekked through the Orlando wetlands with alligators everywhere with my parents to see water birds
  • Had the balls to quit a job without having another one lined up and now that I have a decent job, with an
    even better one waiting in the wings, I can say how exhilarating that was
  • Took Little Dog on a plane trip (He pooped in the middle of a concourse in the Atlanta airport and a
    businessman rolled right through it with his suitcase: a beautiful and terrible moment)
  • Reunited with my high school graduating class and talked to all of the popular kids for the first time ever,
    who, as it turns out, are just normal middle-aged people
  • Gave away 80 percent of my belongings
  • Paid 5 bucks a gallon for gasoline
  • Moved 2,200 miles
  • Volunteered for a presidential candidate, went to rallies, proudly wore a campaign button, and was
    excited about the election
  • Went with my best friend Christa to Cactus League Spring Training in Arizona and spent St. Patrick's Day
    in Scottsdale
  • With Christa and Kelly, treated ourselves to a Girls Weekend Cabin Rental in Big Bear and we ate great
    food, sat in a hot tub, made smores, and then played a bad wine game
  • Flew to Chicago for The Girls Memorial Day Weekend Trip with Christa and we each bought a strand of
    real pearls
  • Renewed friendships of long ago
  • Attended a Cubs game at Wrigley Field and many Dodgers games at Chavez Ravine
  • Botoxed my forehead and Juvedermed the parentheses around my mouth
  • Watched a lot of Jon Stewart and AC and Nancy Grace
  • Kissed a boy I had fantasized about kissing since I was NINE. (Hi Brett Morgan)
  • Successfully ended unhealthy relationships (See Title)
  • Fell in love a few times
  • Adored "Atonement" and The Patron Saint of Liars
  • Fancied P!nk's song "So What!", and this guy
  • Stayed busy
  • Barely drank
  • Rarely pined
  • Hardly cried
  • Turned 38 and Christa and I sat around my apartment opening every bottle of champagne I owned and
    then went to Cobras y Matadors in Los Feliz for yummy wine and tapas
  • Stopped talking about things and did them
  • Developed a personal fashion concept best described as Betsey Johnson meets Michael Kors with a
    side of Cynthia Rowley

I owe it all to The Vision Board.

And so I present, my Vision Board Version 2009:


















I have one goal for 2009. I have many wishes and dreams, too. But I will stick with one goal, because I know
that if I stick with this one goal, many other things will fall into place.

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